I don’t even know where to start. I’m here because I can’t fall asleep even if I’m too tired. My mind is full of racing thoughts and my heart’s beating really fast. And at this point, I’m already crying and I don’t even know why.
The worst kinds of demons are what’s inside your head. They can ruin everything -your relationships, your career and your life. All of a sudden everything began to look bleak. And the people who are closest to me don’t deserve this and they don’t deserve to know this part of me. I am slowly drowning and the scariest part is I can’t even save me from me.
I am so disappointed with my self. I can’t even think straight and I’ve been telling myself this whole time that this will pass, but when? I am already exhausted and I really need sleep. And I hate myself for feeling this way:
For the feeling of not being good enough and constantly disappointing someone. I feel like I’m the one who ruins the fun in this relationship and I feel mostly guilty about it. And for not telling you this worst part of me. I’m sorry.
For the feeling of hiding away and running away. Probably to a place where no one knows me. I just wanna be a stranger in an unfamiliar place.
For the feeling of total exhaustion even though I’ve been sleeping and taking a lot of time to rest.
For the feeling of having a lot of friends but not wanting to see them and when asked what’s wrong, I just say “I’m fine.” even though I’m totally not.
Inner peace can only be achieved when you are sensible with your own mind, body and spirit. Sometimes you need to take some time off and be socially unavailable for a few hours in order to dig deeper into your inner self. This does not mean you are submitting yourself into loneliness. It is simply appreciating your own company while gaining the perks of it.
So why do you need to be alone sometimes?
Being alone will allow you to recharge. You need to regain some of your self after being busy the whole week. This is not a task, this is a need. You’ve wasted so much of yourself pouring all your energy and effort into your work and with catching up with your family and friends, and now it’s time to take some much needed ‘me’ time. Cozy up and take some rest.
Being alone will help you be aware of your emotions. You must realize that your emotional well-being does not depend on others. You need to be conscious with your own feelings and your own values to achieve that healthy emotional glow. You are incredibly capable of nurturing yourself but first, you must believe in yourself that you can!
Being alone will help you realize that you don’t need validation from others. You must appreciate your own worth and that no one can define you other than yourself. You must remember that people will always have an opinion about you but learning to mind your own business will actually help you grow stronger and happier.
Being alone can help kick-start your passion. Your mind is full of wonders and imagination strikes when you have a clear mind and a positive vibe. Do not take it for granted. Submit yourself into it and allow the world pass by while doing what you love the most. And when you have more ideas but a little amount of time left, write them down and get back to it when you already want to.
Being alone will assist you to rule your life. Rocking solo time will actually help you become more confident and independent with yourself. You will be able to think things through and you are more capable of leading your life successfully. You are most likely be grateful with the things you have and happiest with the way you already are.
Remember that your mind is as vast as the universe. You sometimes get lost in it and other times you are aware of it. Being in a state of healthy solitude can actually provide you with things that are more important in life. By finding your inner self, you will be ready to rule your world on your own.
With a new day comes a new anxiety. We struggle everyday to find peace within ourselves and we mentally and physically fight our stressors out. We’ve been doing this for a long time and even though we survive every night, we are confronted with another problem every day. Can we truly win this war with our minds? Of course, we can. By setting some safe havens within ourselves and making it a habit everyday, we can be peacefully happy and productively carry on with our life.
Take a few minutes everyday to realize what you already have and be mindful and grateful. It’s the simple things that count and be proud of what you have already achieved. Breathe deeply and unplug and you’ll easily notice these things that truly matter.
Take some time to blog or journal about your feelings and struggles. Writing is a form of therapy and pouring everything out helps to make you feel at ease. This also allows you to reflect on what you have been through and help you realize the things you need to change in order to be able to obtain that positive life.
Drink some coffee or tea. Coffee actually improves your energy levels and can boost your mood. It is a mild antidepressant and it increases your Dopamine, which is a neurotransmitter that helps regulate emotional responses. Tea is also awesome for your health. It has less caffeine than coffee and it reduces cortisol levels which is the stress hormone.
Read a good book or browse through one chapter everyday. Make this a habit and you’ll gain new knowledge and mindsets to what you have read. Drown yourself to new stories and be mindful of each words. It can help you a lot as this takes your mind off your troubled thoughts.
Take a walk outside. Just take a break, walk and notice your surroundings. This will ease your mind and give you a fresh perspective. Sometimes when you’re drowning yourself into the work week, just the act of stepping your feet outside can help you realize that the world is vast and your worries are just tiny dots you can survive at.
When life gets busy, we often have zero time to clean up the mess we’ve made especially in our closets among other things. They become our personal nightmares when we come home each night and it adds more stress to our life. Keeping things organized take a lot of hard work and what we need is a series of tricks to somehow deplete this reoccurring small problems that we often encounter.
A sleek clothing rail is a must-have in every closet or wardrobe designs. This will organize your garments more efficiently and you can also save time in finding clothes on it compared to when it is folded.
Make use of small racks and dressers for your jewelries, cute trinkets and, of course, make-up. If you like to collect them, just make sure that they are stored properly in order to avoid dresser chaos and confusion on your part.
Shelves are great for storing your shoes. Aside from the fact that you can clearly and easily see them, it’s also great to avoid running into them and finding them when there are out place. Also, store away some pairs you don’t even use anymore and donate them to someone who needs it.
Baskets are also handy in keeping things organize. You can place small articles there to avoid misplacing them. Sort things out and put labels so that you can easily reach for it when the time comes.
Last but not the least, a mirror. The bigger the mirror the better. When you’re planning to up your closet game, always designate a place for huge mirrors as it makes the place bigger and it bounces light back. It’s also great for you to be able to see your full reflection when dressing up.
When it comes to comfort and style, sneakers are always the best go-to trend. I love how Athleisure paved the way to our favorite sneakers and I’m sensing that it will be here to stay. We also did see a lot of transformations to our favorite sneakers and they’re all good but nothing’s better than the classics too. They already came in a variety of colors and style, and I am definitely sure that investing in these cool trends would be worth it.
Some inspirations for my future home. I love these shelf designs so much that I definitely want these things to be included in my future abode. I am a sucker for interior and decor designing and I am aiming for a beautiful walk-in closet. I love staying organized and what better way to do it than having a spacious room to make this all happen.
I identify myself as one of those many people who is completely okay to stay single. It’s frustrating to know that some crowds would justify singleness as someone (1) who has trust issues and would never date ever again, (2) who has probably some issues within himself/herself and that’s why he/she is not suitable to be loved at all, and (3) other issues that mainly downgrade a person’s self-esteem and self-worth. For what it’s worth, being single is likened to a season – a season of growth and/or renewal.
I’m lying if I said I don’t want to be in a relationship. I am a hopeless romantic freak. I feed my soul with every chic flicks and drown myself into romantic novels. I even listen to podcasts about love and redemption every morning before I get out of bed. What I’m saying is, I do want love but I want it to come in its own perfect timing.
I don’t want to rush everything right now. I’m young and contented of what I have become. Right now I have all the time to think and reflect on the many things that matter the most and I am just waiting for that time when I’m finally ready to get on with my life. And being alone has allowed me to redirect my priorities and goals into the brighter aspect of the spectrum.
It has never crossed my mind that being single made me less of a person. I am actually gaining more of myself than I ever thought. It made me realize that my world doesn’t have to revolve into one person’s orbit only. I have a supportive family and an incredible sets of friends, and I associate myself with them too often that I forget I am in a state of being single. They give me a sense of purpose just by being there and if it does not validate how blessed I am, I don’t know what will.
I am hopeful that whenever my forever person comes knocking at my door, I’m already ready to begin a new chapter of my life. In all honesty, I am not asking for him to hurry. He should take his time because I still have to hustle to get to wherever I want to be. Right now I still want to be selfish with myself and with my time. As cliché as it may sound, I still want to savor every bite of my freedom.
I’m always convinced that my thoughts and emotions are pulling me into the depths of damnation. My anxiety and sadness are, I guess, my lifetime friends and I cannot in any way get rid of them. I give myself pep talks sometimes to persuade myself to allow them to walk side by side with me but never give them a chance to get ahead of me, and somehow that works pretty much fine.
Today I learned that these so-called friends of mine can be great companions too. I realized that if I can’t make them leave, I can actually use them into something more useful and productive. By utilizing them and making them beneficial to my well-being, these inevitable thoughts and feelings can be a start of a passion that could fuel some drive deep within me.
Delving deeper into these things made me realize that I am, in fact, already using my overthinking mind and sad heart into something fruitful. The main reason I started this blog was for me to be able to write about my daily fashion excursions. But being a person full of sentiments and occupied with a lot about the smallest things, this blog is more proper for those muddled thinking.
I am a bit amused of myself because I never thought I can make these weaknesses turn into my strongest assets. Who would have thought that these crippling emotions and these devastating thoughts could blossom into the life full of positive vibes and internal stillness? Life is ironic, indeed.
To be honest, I never thought I could write things like these five years ago. I always envisioned myself to be someone who would write more about the latest fashion trends and to post new OOTDs every single day. I would have been a new fashion blogger on the block. I am more interested in those kinds of things only to realize that they were a temporary distraction from what I really feel. Truly, life is really not what it seems.
Negativity – a complex prison my mind can’t seem to get out of. I’ve been dwelling in this inner sanctum for years and all I ever wanted was to break free. Sometimes it’s easy for me to say that I’m already positive and so full of life yet I’m back again. I’m back to being miserable and sad.
I always thought I already have my life together. Maybe I already have but my unhappy thoughts would always get the best of me. They’re always ahead of me every step of the way and even if I could shake them off, they somehow creep back into me. I hate it.
I may be free but my mind has always been a captive. It’s surreal how one moment I am my jolly self and the next thing I know I’m already ruined. With this situation I’m in, I am just really appreciative of the little things and the moments when I can be with my happy self again. I grab them as best as I could because they don’t linger too long too often. I keep hoping they never go away.
I wish I knew how to break out of this system permanently. I’m glad I could write all my feelings out. I’m proud of myself for not thinking about taking my own life. I’m thankful that I have family and friends who are only a call away. They can really help me win this internal battle I’m in. So far they haven’t asked me how I tend to get myself into this kind of internal mess but somehow their existence give me enough courage and hope to fight and win my troubles away.
My thoughts are also with those people who never got the chance to get out alive. I’m crushed every time news about depression and suicide appear on our television and smartphone screens. I think about the things they’d been through and I always ask myself if they ever had a chance to tell someone what they were going through, and if those people took a moment to focus on them or did they shrugged them off. I am still full of questions and concerns because I have an understanding of what they were going through and it’s not that easy as what everybody think it is.
Negativity is a complexity. The sad thing about it is that you can’t even see it coming and when it has taken over your mind, you cannot even resist it. You just know you’re doomed to fight and if you’re strong enough, you’ll manage to rise up.
Living in your twenties is a pretty huge deal. It’s merely the time to get free and explore not only the world but also yourself. Things are starting to shape up and make sense, and the adult life starts to loom around. It may be true that this is the time for us to get our shit together and face the reality headstrong but keep in mind that this is also the right time to make mistakes and truly learn from them.
When you’re in your twenties, personal growth is either rampant or restrained. Things may spurt out or things may slow down. There is no in-between. Your own personal choices are what’s keeping you going or what’s keeping you stagnant. Whatever the situation you’re in, keep in mind that everything is happening for reasons that you’ll most likely figure out when the right time comes. It’s always never too late when you’re in your twenties.
I’m only 21 years old but don’t get me wrong. Because we are only in our twenties once, I’ve come up with a list that we, twenty-somethings should be doing to make the most out of this decade.
Plan a getaway with your friends. It’s always better to explore the great outdoors with great friends. It’s not really that expensive when you do it right. You can always start with your city and make your way to your neighboring cities. When your bank account permits, you can perhaps travel to other countries. Either way, the experiences you’ll have in the whole scale of the trip will always be memorable. Remember that it gets harder finding the right schedule when you’re older so now’s the best time!
Learn more about your roots. It’s about time you realize that as you grow older, your elders are not getting any younger as well. It’s only fitting that you should start asking more about your ancestors and your family history. Make notes and timelines because this will also serve as a legacy to your children and their children as well.
Spend more time with your little siblings and/or cousins. At this point in time, they basically look up to you as the big boss to everything. They will expect you to decide for them and they will respect you no matter what. You’ll have more fun together and you will surely enjoy their innocence. But the main reason for this is that when you’re older, you’ll get caught up with work and even your own family that you’ll never have the time to mingle with them anymore. Plus, when they’re older, it’s more likely they’ll never gonna listen to you any longer.
Up your culinary game. You cannot just settle with ramen for the rest of your life. Lift up your cooking skills in your 20s and you’ll never have to worry about hosting a dinner party later in life. You’ll also most likely to impress a special someone with your culinary prowess because food is always the key to the heart, right?
Take good quality portraits. And if you can have them developed, do it too. These photos will remind you of great memories and it’s always fun to place them in photo albums or display them in picture frames. It elevates its sentimentality more and it will remind you later of how you looked and how it felt like to be in your 20s. Selfies doesn’t count and the studio-type photos are not necessary. Just be yourself and do you!
Build good habits. Self-discipline should start now. Wake up early, take a morning run, get organized and manage your time. Now’s the right time to take care of yourself and your habits. You are not in high school anymore so set your priorities straight and do great things by starting small and start it with yourself.
Learn from people who already have made it. Always seek advice from these people because they already are the wisest. Talk with them more often and learn from their experiences. They will always have something to offer and their wisdom is the greatest thing you’ll ever have. Sometimes you won’t agree with them too much but time will come when every little details they shared will make great sense.
Don’t be so hard on yourself. In your early twenties, there will come a time when you’ll feel like your life is too stagnant and there will always that feeling of getting left behind. Don’t get this feeling corrupt you. Things are not getting easier and the pressure is always on but just take a deep breath and know that things will come at the right time and you’ll do great at your own pace.